Saturday, September 3, 2011

A Feeling...

For those of you who visit here from time to time, you know that this blog has been all about my life since the loss of my girls in 2008 and 2009 and the pregnancies, heartaches, and my daily life which have followed. 

There have been times on this grief journey that I have this overwhelming feeling.  It fills my chest and I feel like I could sufficate with this feeling.  Before I know it my eyes feel with tears and they roll down my face like a river.  There is never a sound...a cry of pain....there are just tears.  The tears dont last but a minute or two and then they are gone but not until I say hello.  Yes, "hello". 

I use to think it was just another part of grief raising its ugly head.....but that it is not the case anymore.
It hard for me to describe how I have come to this point in my journey.  In my heart I believe when this feeling comes over me it is not of pain, but of love.  In my heart I believe its Tiffany and Elizabeth saying hello and that they miss me.  So I tell each one by one "hello Tiffany...I love u 2 and Mommy misses you so much.....hello Elizabeth...I love u 2 and Mommy misses you so much. 

Before I know it the tears are gone and the heaviness in my chest is gone.

Has anyone else had this feeling?  If so what do you think of that feeling?

Like I said before, I BELIEVE IN MY HEART, MY GIRLS ARE SAYING HELLO.

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