Thursday, July 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Tiffany

I cant believe my Tiffany would be 3 today.

DH asked me what I thought she would be doing today.  I stated, probably coloring my walls, since the economy is so bad and money is so tight". 

Today, I got up and lit a candle and song Happy Birthday to her.  Later MEND sent 3 long white roses.

DH asked if anyone called to let us know they thought of Tiffany today and I said "no". He then asked if my feelings we're hurt and I said "no".  I have "matured" in my grief...if that makes since.  I don't care if people remember (I am touched when they do).  I am not hurt if the phone doesn't ring or they don't leave a message on my facebook page. I understand their lives continue the clock keeps ticking and there is no reason for them to mark the 21st of June and the 21st of July on their calendar. 

Unless a loss touches a person directly there is no need for a person to remember my loss or anyone else's loss.....I am OK with it!

Anyways...Happy Birthday to my sweet Tiffany Pooh.  I still remember how you felt in my arms, your long skinny fingers (like your Aunt), you looked just like your Daddy, and you had your Mommy's toes. 

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Bloodwork results


I received my bloodwork on yesterday...and they showed NOTHING!  I was let down, I thought the test would show the reason why I keep miscarrying, but it didn't. 

Could it be my age? Could it be my progesterone? Could it be......Could it be.....Could it be....

My doctor suggested that I continue to take my prenatal vitamins, a daily low dose asprian, and pray.  At this point there is no "solid" reason of why, so I feel so frustrated. 

Faith....the substance of things hope for the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1)....THIS IS ALL I CAN HOLD ON TO. With that being said, I step out on Faith and pray that the Lord answers my prayers and hears my cry and wipes away my tears.