Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Lizzy

Today is Elizabeth's 2nd Birthday and Angel-day. 

It has been a day full of emotions.  I woke up this morning almost the exact time that my water broke 2 years ago.  I opened my eyes with Elizabeth on my mind.  I left the bedroom and went to the living room where I song Happy Birthday to Lizzy.I then lit a candle by her picture and picked up her urn which sits on the fireplace mantle along with Tiffanys. 

I know its strange but I shook the urn so that I could hear her ashes move.  I immediately broke down crying....it was weird because I heard her....I never thought I would be able to hear her again.  At some point I fell asleep holding her urn in my arms.

When I woke up, my Hubby was up and sitting in the media room. He came to the living room and did the same thing as I....he picked up her urn from the mantle, took it into his hands stroked it, said happy birthday, and begin to go down the list of things he thought she would be doing today.  It was touching to see and hear his love for her.

Later, the door bell rang and I knew it was the delivery man....my support group sends white roses for each year of birth/angel day.  So we received 2 long  stem white roses.  I think I was crying before I even opened the door.

The day ended with my sister in law (Hubby's sister) calling checking on me.....SHE REMEMBERED.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


Sorry it has been so long since, I have posted, but my mind has been everywhere!

Just to update you on things....back on the 16th we just knew I was having a miscarriage because of all the bleeding.  Blood work was done 3 times and each time my numbers went up indicating I was still pregnant.

My doctor found I had a medium size subchronic bleed, not a miscarriage.  You could clearly see a sac in the uterus. Since I was so early another ultrasound wasn't scheduled until Tuesday, May 31st. 

However, on Friday, May 27, the bleeding started again.  On Monday, the doctor confirmed that I did miscarry this time.  At the end of the month, I will be going in for several auto immune test....to see if there are issues we dont know about.

 In the mean time, I was advised to continue taking my prenatals, along a baby asprin.