19 weeks

Just a quick update.....

I am officially 19 weeks.  Last week I began having contractions so I was placed on strict bedrest and Procardia.

The contractions finally stopped so I am doing much better.  Dr. stated I do not have to do strict bedrest anymore, but I do have to continue to take it very easy.

Also, its official Baby Brown, is a baby Girl. So here name will be Haley :)

16 weeks and 3 days

Well I am slowly moving forward,

The Dr. is really happy with my progress.  So we are praying that things remain quiet and stable.  I am feeling calm at the moment and hoping to stay that way.  At the beginning of this pregnancy I was on pins and needles.  My anxiety level was off the chart and I was not sleeping.....

I am counting down my weeks until 24 weeks and pray everday that I can reach my milestone.... +.....the weeks afterwards which will bring this little one home.  Hubby and I have decided on Ethan if its a boy and Haley if its a girl.   We have been told what they think the baby is but I will save that for a later post.

14 weeks 4 days

Well its New Years Eve.....the time we try to strive for new goals and dreams and the time we reflect on the past year.

As I look over the year some things we're good, some things I could have done better, and some things I am still working on.  Even though all of my goals have not been reached they are being worked on.....one in particular is being a mom.  I remember saying to my DH last year that I wanted to work on several items by the end of the year...1.  work on paying off bills 2. refinance the house 3. prepare for our own child to come into our home or adopt.

Even though I lost my teaching job in June (due to budget cuts) I have managed to pay off one of my many credit card bills and my car :)  The two bills together save us over $500 a month (WOW).  Refinancing the house is harder than I thought since we are now a one income family.  As of Dec 31, 2011 I am 14 weeks and 4 days, so I am preparing to bring our own biological child home.

Even though the weeks have been difficult, I am here.  I have made it through the first trimester!!!!  Every day I work to stay positive and not let fear take over .  I would be lying if I said I wasnt scared, if I havent cried, if I havent felt like I was losing my mind. 

I am praying that 2012 brings me my earthly baby...home, safely, and healthy

12 weeks 4 days

I am so ready to get past the first trimester....

It has been an emotional rollacoster, but then I wonder if the second trimester will be any different.  I wish I could have a normal pregnancy.  So many worries, so many tears, so much loss has trully put a "damper" on the "pregnancy bliss".

Is it just me.....

I have not openly announced that I was pregnant.  People and family have found out through my sickness and my belly...lol.  I have told a couple of people openly but I didnt scream it from the roof tops.  My brother told his wife, "I think Ton Ton is pregnant".  She replied, yea, I think so as well and when she is ready to tell us she will in her own time.  I dont think I ever said I was but i just slid it into conversation. 

Since it has been cold wearing my coat hides my stomach from most.  Two ladies at church just noticed my bump and we're very suprised.   They wanted to know if they had missed the annoucement. 

Coming out of hiding

My heart is racing and tears are flowing as I type this but I am tired of hiding....I am currently 10 weeks pregnant!!!

For those of you who do not know me, I am back for the 7th time!!!!!

After trying for over 2 years to conceive with Endometriosis, Fibroids, PCOS, Hypothyroidism, and 1 functioning tube......

Pregnancy #1 ended at 5.5 weeks in 06
Pregnancy #2 ended with the b/d of our first daughter Tiffany @ 21 weeks in 08...failed emergency cerclage
Pregnancy #3 ended with the b/d of our second daughter Elizabeth @ 20 weeks in 09....failed preventive cerclage
Pregnancy #4 ended at 8 weeks for unknown reasons in 09
Pregnancy #5 was ectopic found at 6 weeks in 09 ( in the tube that is "closed" but has healed enough to pull an egg out but not through)
Pregnancy #6 ended in May at 6.5 weeks due to possible low progesterone

And here we are this pregnancy has been soooooo different one day i am sick and the next I fee fine.....one day i have sore breast and the next day I dont. My doctor feels very good about this pregnancy. I have been on progesterone since day 1 along with baby aspirin. I start Levonox on Friday, which is a daily shot of a blood thinner.

Please pray for me and this pregnancy that this journey to motherhood is long and boring

How is everyone?

I have been so preoccupied with "stuff" that I have slacked off with my post.  I promise to do better.

I know that several have had POSITIVE test and others are still hoping and waiting. 

My minister preached today about not giving up on GOD....life can be difficult and hard but you cannot give up on GOD.  If you are still here and you have breath in your body, then there is always hope.  Hope is only as far as you can see...if you dont or cant see yourself and your dreams beyond today or tomorrow, then how can hope "trully" live within you?

I thought all of us could get something from this message!

I know personally, after I lost Elizabeth, I wanted to give up.  I wanted to roll over and die.  I wanted to be like the woman in I Kings 18...who waited on death to come.  But then my DH said to me, "if I lose you and the girls, where does that leave me, what am I going to do without you?"  When he said that I realized I could not leave my husband, broken from every area of his soul.  He first watched his children die and then his wife...I could not do that to him. 

So we prayed everyday that God would help us deal with our pain ....we continue to hope everyday for a rainbow....because we are looking beyond today and tomorrow.

More walk pictures

Here are a couple of other pictures